Usually, children have few people in their lives that they trust, these could be their parents, caregivers, teachers or coaches. A Safe Person is more than that; a Safe Person is there to protect the child no matter what. Children can have trusted adults, as they might trust Safe and Unsafe People (because they don't know they are not safe), and that is why it is very important that we can all be a Safe Person for the children in our lives.
A Safe Person should be someone who:
- can get them help if they’re ever hurt or unsafe. - doesn’t break the safety rules, or try to get the child to break them. - never asks them to keep a secret. - the child feels comfortable with and can easily talk to about things that may be difficult to talk about. - the child can trust them to keep him/her safe. |
"A Safe Person needs to understand that if a child tells them they have been hurt, or if they suspect a child is being hurt or is unsafe, they need to act in the best interest of the child. It is an adult’s responsibility to protect children." https://www.mbfpreventioneducation.org/learn-more/safe-adult-club/ |
Grooming vs. Safe Person
It is quite shocking that many times we don’t realize that one same interaction with a child could be perceived as an act of kindness or a grooming action. We need to be extra careful in the way we interact with children.
The Negative Grooming process looks like a normal behavior when it starts; the initial stages are full of attention, light conversations and care. The offender uses this to gain the child’s (and their caregiver's) trust and then uses this "trust" to gain access to the child and abuse him/her.
The implementation and development of negative grooming tactics can take place over days, months and even years. It can be difficult to tell if a child is being negatively groomed – the signs are not always obvious and may be hidden.
It is important to remember that children and young people may not understand they are being groomed. They may have complicated feelings such as loyalty, admiration, love, as well as fear, distress, and confusion. The other adults and caregivers are also often unaware that they themselves are being negatively groomed.
Then how can we recognize if an adult is being a role model to a child or if the child is being groomed?
We would say it is a combination of red flags. First of all, role models would never ask a child to keep a secret; also, role models won’t seek to spend time alone with the child. A role model has limited interaction with a child (sports coach, school mentor, religious leader) and doesn’t want to spend extra time with him/her, like play dates or going to the movies together. If an adult tells the child that only he/she can understand him/her, if he/she gives presents to the child, if he becomes friend with other family members, that could be considered Grooming.
It is quite shocking that many times we don’t realize that one same interaction with a child could be perceived as an act of kindness or a grooming action. We need to be extra careful in the way we interact with children.
The Negative Grooming process looks like a normal behavior when it starts; the initial stages are full of attention, light conversations and care. The offender uses this to gain the child’s (and their caregiver's) trust and then uses this "trust" to gain access to the child and abuse him/her.
The implementation and development of negative grooming tactics can take place over days, months and even years. It can be difficult to tell if a child is being negatively groomed – the signs are not always obvious and may be hidden.
It is important to remember that children and young people may not understand they are being groomed. They may have complicated feelings such as loyalty, admiration, love, as well as fear, distress, and confusion. The other adults and caregivers are also often unaware that they themselves are being negatively groomed.
Then how can we recognize if an adult is being a role model to a child or if the child is being groomed?
We would say it is a combination of red flags. First of all, role models would never ask a child to keep a secret; also, role models won’t seek to spend time alone with the child. A role model has limited interaction with a child (sports coach, school mentor, religious leader) and doesn’t want to spend extra time with him/her, like play dates or going to the movies together. If an adult tells the child that only he/she can understand him/her, if he/she gives presents to the child, if he becomes friend with other family members, that could be considered Grooming.
There are many things you can do to become a Safe Person for the children around you. Click HERE to find out how to do it. |